[6:21 AM]
Hi Kate, I have a $100 DoorDash gift card with your name on it!
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Interested?
Lauren
[9:34 AM]
Hi Kate,
Spring is on the way!
With Q2 right around the corner, there’s no better time to position your team to optimize conversions and see real bottom-line impact through paid digital channels.
With customer.io, you’ll have the real-time data and insights to maximize ROI.
Love,
Lauren
[11:08 AM]
Hi Kate,
🚨 Big news! 🚨
My livelihood hangs in the balance.
I am not at liberty to discuss the terms of my employment, or my housing situation.
I am not at liberty to discuss my romantic arrangements, or the expectations
Of my loved ones.
Do with this information what you will.
I chose you
Because in your LinkedIn profile picture, you struck me
As a good person.
You’re smiling. I, too, smile.
I laugh and dance.
In earnest,
Lauren
[12:31 PM]
Hi Kate,
I plan to spend my afternoon in the quiet halls of the Isabella Gardner Museum.
This is where I do my best thinking.
At this hour, on a Wednesday, there is almost no one there --
A cadre of students, maybe, with great hope and a respectful austerity.
They see themselves in the plaques on the walls -- they envision themselves artists.
They do not know what lies ahead.
They’re benevolent in their delusion, but they’ll grow into bitter herbs.
They’ll dissent and challenge their governments.
They’ll come to distrust their parents, and other well-intentioned but misguided authorities.
I have my own authorities.
I am leering at my computer screen,
Lauren
[1:12 PM]
Hi Kate,
Moloch! Moloch!
You have an incompetent morality. An impotent morality.
With active and growing disdain,
Lauren
[1:35 PM]
Hi Kate,
My revolution is immortal. The difference between you and me is that you’re complacent and I am not. I’m alive! I’m alive! It’s pathetic. You’re not alone. There are thousands, maybe millions of you, reading my messages and staying silent. A simple ‘no, thank you! We have a tool for that’ would suffice.
The demo would take you 20 minutes. And you’d get $100. An hour of your time isn’t worth $100. You’re in marketing. An hour of your time is probably worth $72. So you’re spiteful, and you’re frivolous.
There is still time,
Lauren
[2:18 PM]
I am writing only to thank you. This will be my last correspondence.
I keep a garden, which I’ve neglected since starting this job.
I simply don’t have time most mornings.
My heart moves slowly. I observe the world with patience.
I’m drawn, like a hopscotch court, by the senselessness of elsewhere.
In many many many ways it’s all I have.
Would you look for me? If I left?
I’d like to meet you. You’re my door.